


To Feel Something

by GxDramionex



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Draco's still kind of a jerk, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hermione never found her parents, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Light Choking, Post-War, Romance, Ron Weasley Bashing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GxDramionex/pseuds/GxDramionex
Summary: It was supposed to be a one-time thing to get back at Ron, but he was like a drug she couldn't quit. Perhaps that's because there's more than meets the eye.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 177





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving over from my account on FF . Net! Hope you enjoy this little 4-shot :)

Hermione felt her heart rate quickening as she slid the striped green tie from his neck. His lips were moving slowly but hungrily across her jawline, her hair balled up in his fist as she undid his shirt and ran her hands over the skin underneath. He released his grip on her curls and let his shirt fall to the ground, where his pants and sweater were already discarded. His fingers fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as he pressed his lips to hers in a lingering, taunting kiss, her hand pulling at the waist of his boxers impatiently. This is what she'd looked forward to all week; her escape, her break from the monotony; her separation from the bleakness that had invaded her life in the last few months.

He was struggling with a particularly stubborn button and she huffed in annoyance, "Do you want me to get that for you?" Her words came out in a breathy whisper. She was seated on an old desk, with him standing between her legs, in a broom closet on the seventh floor and the light was dim overhead as she locked eyes with him. They were a steel grey tonight and there was a dark look behind them, not in a sinister way, but in a very appealing way. One that resonated how she felt.

"I've got it just fine, Granger," he snipped back, pulling a bit too hard on the button as it broke off of her shirt.

She closed her eyes for a moment as he paused, "Are you kidding me, Malfoy."

"Shit," he muttered, looking down at the button before he threw it to the side, "Whatever, just fix it later," he captured her lips with his again as he moved on to the next button and she bit his bottom lip, gently, but pointedly and each successive button undid smoothly from there. His tongue pushed into her mouth and she moaned against him as she felt him smirk. She didn't care. His arrogance was almost an added bonus to what she wanted from him.

His lips were intoxicating; forbidden and off limits. It's what made her feel so alive. It's what made her feel anything at all.

At the beginning of their seventh year after the Battle of Hogwarts, which they'd all returned for, Ron had been paired up with Millicent Bulstrode, of all people, for a partner in potions. Not two weeks into term, Hermione had caught them shagging in a classroom when they were supposedly 'doing homework.' He'd tried to come up with some excuse, running out after her with his pants around his ankles, but it had been too late. Years of envisioning a future together with Ron to have spent only a couple of months dating him had numbed her to the idea of love. Not to mention the toll the war had taken on her mentally.

His lips were at her neck again and she couldn't help the sigh that escaped her as he sucked gently, and very intentionally, on the sensitive part of her skin.

She knew she was strong and that she would continue to move forward from the events of the war, but the picture of bodies strewn about the castle at the Battle of Hogwarts and the curses she'd endured and used in that battle had changed her. It had impacted everyone differently, but they all felt some degree of unbalance afterwards. To make matters worse, she still hadn't been able to locate her parents again and had gotten to a point deep down where she'd almost accepted she never would. She'd confided in Ron, trusted him to heal with her, and he'd turned out to be the biggest disappointment of them all.

He'd even had the audacity to tell the rest of their friends that the end of their relationship was due to Hermione's insecurities and instability so the whole house was tip toeing around her. He'd been too much of a coward to take responsibility, or too embarrassed to admit he'd been with Millicent Bulstrode. And she'd been too angry to even give his story the time of day. Harry hadn't returned for the extended year, being recruited to the Auror Department early, so she didn't even have him to level with. And so, she'd learned to turn it all off. Feel nothing, show nothing. Just move through the motions to make it through the year until she could graduate and get away from the confines of the castle.

_But this…_ , Draco opened her shirt, his cold hands running along her skin like he'd never touched her before, _this made her feel again. It made her heart race, it made her muscles tense, it made her senses awaken._

But he'd touched her plenty of times at this point. Almost weekly now since that weekend after she'd broken up with Ron. It all started with a night of drinking alone in Hogsmeade when he'd shown up, his usual self making snarky comments, mixed with lewd suggestions as to how to get back at Ron. She hadn't minded. She felt like she had nothing, maybe a good shag with Malfoy would give her some sense of power over the anger and betrayal she felt. It had been a shock as to how right she had been. It was everything she needed and he was like a drug now; One she kept at a distance, only allowing herself to give in once a week, but he felt like the most addicting thing in the world.

A low growl elicited from his throat as he slid his hand over her breast, exposed due to the fact that she'd decidedly not put on a bra that evening. His mouth moved down to her chest as her fingers wound tightly into his hair. His hands slipped back down, moving up her thighs now and bunching up her skirt underneath her as they did so. She could feel him against her as he stood back up straight and it took everything in her not to beg him to just do it already. He liked to play with her first, liked to see his effect on her. She knew she was flushed, he'd enjoy that. His thumb brushed over the top of her underwear and he watched her as she tilted her head against the wall and clenched her hand around his shoulder.

"Tell me you want it, Granger," he teased her, "I need to hear you say it."

"I can't stand you," she breathed as she fluttered her eyes open to see the gleam in his. She squeezed his shoulder harder in excitement.

"Tell me what I need to hear," he said evenly, knowing full well that she would do as he said.

She took a deep breath and tried to say it with as much dignity as she could, "Tonight, I'm yours," she felt herself blush harder at the words, but he'd told her the first time they'd been together that it's what he wanted to hear.

"I think you're missing a part," he said as he slipped her panties down her legs and let them fall before removing his boxers to join them.

"Tonight, I am yours, _Draco_ ," she enunciated the words.

"That's right you are," Draco pulled her face to his and kissed her fiercely as he positioned himself in front of her. He pushed his hips forward and she inhaled sharply as he filled her.

As he pulled back and slid forward effortlessly, her mouth fell open and her head dropped back, hands finding whatever part of his body they could get ahold of. Somehow fucking Draco Malfoy had become the only thing in the world that made sense. It was the first thing in her life that didn't need to be anything more than it was. They used each other to feel something in a world that felt darker than it should after the light won. She knew why it did for him, of course. He'd been on the other side. His past was darker than most and it seemed as if he were just trying to get through the year with his head high and move past it all as well. He strutted arrogantly around like all was normal, but he lacked the malice he used to hold. That much she could tell.

The feeling of him moving inside her had them both trying to keep their voices down. Draco had one hand braced on the wall next to Hermione's head and the other had found its way to trace her throat. She swallowed hard, opening her eyes to meet his and doing her best not to melt from that burning gaze. His hand tightened around her throat slightly; Tight enough to feel the adrenaline, and her breath came unevenly as she reached out to grip his forearm. She knew it was the one with the Dark Mark still imprinted there and chills erupted down her spine as she tried to push that from her mind. His grip tightened again before loosening as he stroked his fingers lightly down her neck in a way that was almost affectionate. His hand moved back into her hair as she sighed heavily. Draco knew how to touch her like she was a woman and not a fragile piece of glass and she couldn't have been more thankful. He pushed into her hard again, " _Draco_ ," his name fell from her lips without a second thought and Draco had to fight down the urge that crept up inside him to finish this right there.

The sound of footsteps and conversation could be heard on the other side of the door and they froze, Draco covering Hermione's mouth with his hand and holding his own breath. They stayed there for a few moments as the footsteps grew louder and then softer again, turning around the corner down the hall.

Hermione swatted his hand away, closing her eyes to take a breath before opening them to see a cocky look on Draco's face, "Feels so good you almost gave us away."

"Get over yourself," she pulled his neck back towards her and kissed him hard, his bottom lip caught between hers as he started moving again, slowly at first as his tongue teased hers and his hand gripped her waist. He'd needed a reason to slow down anyway; make sure she got what she came there for. She pulled back, her eyes heavy with lust from his change in pace.

" _Fuck_ ," he breathed, watching her reaction. He placed his hand to steady them on the desk. The way she looked at him did something to him that he couldn't explain. No other girl had ever had this effect on him and he needed more of her. He needed to make this last as long as he could.

Hermione focused on everything she was feeling, logging it into her memory to last her the next seven days. This interaction was all they had. Afterwards they would get dressed and go their separate ways. He'd make comments to her in class once in a while about being a goody-two-shoes, or a know-it-all, and she'd call him a prat and they would go on with their days until Saturday finally came around again and they could rendezvous somewhere new, somewhere hidden, and let their desires take over for a few blissful minutes. It would never be more than this, but it made it all the more sacred because she didn't know when it would end; When he would decide he was done with her. Which surely, he would at some point and she would have to find another way to feel again.

His fingers had slid down her body and found a good rhythm in the right spot as she felt heat spreading through her. He was kissing her again but it was getting harder to focus on any one feeling. His lips were wet, his movements almost too slow, his hands soft against her.

She felt his lips graze her ear now, "Come on, Granger," he knew she was close and she'd always been very responsive to a bit of encouragement.

His breath against her ear drove the rest of her body crazy as she shuddered. Everything around her was fading as her muscles tensed and her head fell back against the wall again. Her hips bucked up towards him a few times as she let herself feel every fleeting second of bliss. Draco watched the look on her face with a sense of entitlement. There was nothing more pure than being the one to make her lose her mind.

Hermione felt him quickening his pace and she let her whole brain give in to the sensations flowing through her, coming down from her own high and ready to ride his out together. She let her breathing fall in step with his, let her hand lift to his arm and inspect the contours of his muscles as he held them firmly in place. No one had ever made her feel like he did and she'd certainly never been this exposed with anyone else before. She opened her eyes and the look that met hers was electrifying. She felt things deep down to her core when they were connected and the way he looked at her screamed that he wanted her. Draco drove deep inside her hard a few more times as he groaned, his head falling into the crook of her neck as she wrapped her arms around him. She pulled him tightly against her and they closed their eyes, holding onto the moment.

After a few minutes, or an hour, who knows, there wasn't a concept of time when she was with him, he lifted his head and kissed her soundly, his hand moving to cup her face as he brushed his thumb down her cheek, his lips stealing smaller kisses as his breathing returned to normal. It was a nice gesture. One that made it feel like she wasn't being used and it didn't go unnoticed. He rested his forehead against hers and let a long breath out of his nose before he pulled himself back from her and the sense of emptiness tried to claw its way back in.

"I'd have to guess you probably won't walk right for a few days," he said casually as he pulled his pants on and she hopped off the desk to find her discarded clothing.

"You think so highly of abilities," she rolled her eyes, grabbing the fallen button off the ground and pointing her wand at it with a nonverbal spell to attach it back to her shirt before she started buttoning it up again.

"For good reason, or I'd have to assume you'd stop sending me an owl every weekend."

She glanced down at her shirt, trying to look preoccupied with it so he didn't see the look on her face that agreed with him, "You and I both know this is just convenient," she pulled her underwear back on, straightening her skirt. She ran her fingers through her hair before walking to the door, pausing to look back with the hint of a grin on her face, "See you next week, Malfoy." She pulled the door open and left as he watched her, shaking his head with a grin of his own.

He pulled his sweater over his head and grabbed his wand from the shelf as he left the broom closet for the Slytherin common room. Someday she would realize that he'd been in love with her for a long time and was just too proud to admit it. One day he'd tell her that the teasing he'd done at Hogwarts was a ruse, and that watching his aunt torture her at the Manor had changed every bit of his allegiance to the side of the Order without question. He'd tell her that all he had wanted was another chance to know her and for her to see who he was under the barrier of the display he put on for others. But it seemed that day was not today. He slipped his hands into his pockets and let their evening play back in his head as he descended the stairs with a spring in his step.

~.~.~.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione pushed the door to the Potions classroom open, running a few minutes late as she walked briskly to her seat, trying not to draw attention to herself.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Slughorn said jovially as he paused in whatever he was saying to the class, "Knew you must just be a pip late. Take your time, we were just starting a brief overview on the amortentia potion, but after reading your essay, it's clear you're more than familiar."

"Sorry I'm late, professor," she said as she took her seat next to Neville, trying to avoid the eyes of her classmates. She could see Draco looking over at her with a smirk from the table next to hers. She knew he liked seeing her flushed, no matter the scenario and she shot him an almost unnoticeable disapproving glare for making her feel even more embarrassed.

She settled herself in as Slughorn started back in on his lesson and by the time they'd begun the practical part of the class, she was back to her normal pace. She'd divvied up the duties with Neville, who was currently copying down instructions from the board while she went to the store closet for ingredients. Ron walked past her back to his seat without a second glance as he laughed with Dean about something and she took a deep breath in through her nose as she opened the closet door to keep her anger at him from flaring up. Eight years of friendship, three months of dating, _he_ was the one who cheated on _her_ and he couldn't even show her an ounce of decency or respect. Not that it mattered.

"Take your time, no one's waiting behind you," Draco said in a bored voice as she read through the labels.

She bit her tongue as she honed in on the bottle she was looking for, grabbing it and turning around, "I'll take as much time as I please, Malfoy." She walked off back to Neville, who was preparing the cutting board and measuring tools. Compared to the other Gryffindors, at least Neville was still pleasant to her. He seemed a bit nervous, but didn't talk about her behind her back or avoid her like many of the others did. Even though she was sure Ron had said plenty about her 'instability' to make him want to, as they were still roommates, along with Dean and Seamus.

"Last class before Christmas break," he said as he handed her the knife to chop up the rose petals.

"Yes, looking forward to it," she said politely.

"Gran says we're expecting a rainy holiday."

Hermione tried not to direct her annoyance with Ron, and now Draco, at his small talk as she focused on her measurements. She couldn't really afford to push anyone else away, and Neville was a good person, but she also just needed to get through this class and this week before she could have some time to be away from it all for a few weeks. That's what she was looking forward to most, "Yes, I expect I'll be spending most on mine indoors anyway, so a little rain won't spoil anything."

"I will too," Neville said, "I'll be, you know, at St. Mungos, with my parents." He'd been trying to be more open about talking about his parents after the war. Now that he'd been through one himself he appreciated even more what they'd sacrificed for him.

Hermione gave him a small smile. If anyone else knew pain and loss, she knew he did, "They'll be happy you're there," she said, "Whether they can express it or not. It's nice you visit like you do."

He returned the look, flipping the page in his book as she added the petals to the cauldron and he poured in the powdered moonstone. They spent the remainder of the class in silence as they worked through the potion, bottling a small amount for grading.

As she left the room, Draco brushed past her, " _Charms room,_ " he whispered, walking ahead and turning down one of the hallways. She hesitated a moment, they had still never really acknowledged their connection to each other outside of their weekly meetings. Her curiosity got the better of her and she ultimately followed him down the Charms hallway, slipping into the room where Draco was waiting and closing the door behind her with a questioning look.

Draco walked up to her, his hands finding their way to her waist as he backed her up a step so her back was against the door and he captured her lips with his without a word. Her hands found his chest with the intention of pushing him away and asking what the hell was going on, but she felt herself caving to the temptation as the moment registered in her brain; An empty classroom mid-day when anyone could walk in; An unplanned rendezvous; A moment of need that Draco couldn't wait until the weekend for.

She kissed him back with a moan, pushing her hips towards him as she gave in. His tongue was warm against hers, the wall hard against her back in the most inviting way. Her hand slid up his chest and into his hair, tugging gently at it as he moved his lips to her neck. His teeth grazed down her skin and her head tilted back, heart rate increasing by the second. Was he going to fuck her right there? _They shouldn't._ Why did that make her want it more?

His hand slid up her skirt, his fingers brushing her inner thigh as he felt her tense. He hummed against her neck and she pulled a little tighter against his hair before he lifted his head to look at her again. The smugness in his grin was well earned at this point as she looked back at him with her lips slightly parted.

"Excited for something, Granger? It's not even Saturday yet."

" _Me_? This was you not being able to restrain yourself," she said incredulously, her hand untangling from his hair to return to his chest, hoping to Merlin he wasn't done with her yet.

He gave a small laugh and leaned in to kiss her again, but it was too soft; teasing even and she realized he was not planning to finish what he'd started.

"Why did you feel the need to pull me into an empty classroom?" She asked in a whisper, breathing heavier than she'd like to be.

"Because I love seeing you like this," he responded in a low voice, "Because I kept thinking about ravishing you during Potions after you shot me that little look."

"Then just do it already."

"But it's not Saturday, you need to be patient," he gave her a wicked grin and she balled his shirt in her fist.

"I'll remember this on Saturday, I hope you know," she said smartly, "You think you've got the upper hand now, I'll get you back for it."

It was a challenge that didn't scare him in the slightest. If anything, it just intrigued him, "Are you staying over break?" It's what he'd really pulled her in there to ask.

"No, I leave Sunday," she said and he felt a pang of disappointment that he didn't let show.

He'd gotten her something that he'd hoped to give her for Christmas. He'd convinced himself that it wasn't that special or thoughtful, but that wasn't entirely true, so he'd hoped for a holiday romp to make it easier to have a reason to give it to her and make it seem like no big deal, "We'll have to make Saturday good enough to hold you over for a few weeks then."

"I'll hold you to that," she said, pulling him to her to capture his lips again. He sucked gently on her bottom lip and she pulled him even closer before pushing him back a step and letting him go, "See you Saturday."

She turned from him without waiting for a response and pulled the door open, running her fingers through her hair as she held her head high and walked off down the hallway towards the Great Hall.

~.~

He'd been on her mind more that week after their spontaneous rendezvous. Normally she could play it cool and put if from her mind just long enough to make it through til Saturday, but this week was very difficult. Even as Saturday dawned, the hours felt like they crawled until it finally approached 10 o'clock. If this week was any indication, the next three without their weekend ritual were not going to be fun.

Hermione walked into the Charms classroom late that evening; the only classroom that was notoriously always left unlocked after hours. Draco was there and she locked the door behind her.

He hopped off the desk he'd been sitting on, his lip curling up as their eyes locked and he sauntered over to her, "Thought you were standing me up for my antics the other day."

"I considered it," she said smoothly as his lips met hers, her back immediately finding the door again, picking up right where they left off.

"But you need this, don't you Granger," he said quietly, barely pulling back from her.

"Only as much as you do," she whispered before he crashed his lips back onto hers.

Clothes were discarded haphazardly one item at a time as she pushed him towards the desks. The back of his legs hit one of the chairs and she started moving down his neck, his chest and past his stomach as she lowered herself to her knees and he wrapped her hair around his hand. She didn't usually take control like this and he felt every part of his body ignite as her eyes flickered up to his. He watched her with desire and a bit of cockiness as she kissed slowly down until she reached exactly the part of him he'd been waiting for her to get to… and then she grinned at him and redirected her lips to his inner thigh where she placed a few light kisses before moving north again, standing as she did.

His breathing was heavy from the anticipation of what he thought he'd be in for and he was shaking his head at her as she reached his ear, " _That's_ for Tuesday."

He spun her around, lifting her up onto the desk and pulling her tightly against him as her leg wrapped around his waist, "You realize I'm about to be the one in control, don't you?" He said darkly with a glint in his eye, "That little tease was not in your best interest."

"Well you've got to make me feel it for three weeks anyway, may as well give you a reason to get riled up," her heart was already racing from working up the confidence to pull off her little show. She liked when he was in control. It's what she wanted out of their affair. But she knew how much it would excite him for her to take over, which made it all the better to _not_ give him what he wanted after he did _not_ give her what she wanted a few days prior.

He elicited a low laugh in response to her challenge that gave her goosebumps. He'd clearly accepted and was now going to take his time enjoying it. His fingers slipped down her warm skin and she let out a heavy breath as his teeth found her neck. Her head dropped to the side with a moan, ready for whatever retaliation he had to give.

~.~

As they put themselves back together that night, Draco looked over at the gift he'd brought that was sitting on one of the shelves nearby. His heart was still pounding, partially from their activities and partially from the internal debate as to if he was going to give her the gift or not and how to do it casually.

"Are you staying for break then?" She asked as she buttoned up her shirt.

"I thought I'd have to, but my mother's plans changed so I'll be going back to the manor." In other words, he'd planned to if she was, but the manor had always been an option.

"Christmas at the _manor_ ," she said airily, "You live a different life, Malfoy."

"It has its perks," he tried to say it smugly as he zipped his pants back up, but deep down he knew being a Malfoy came with a lot more negatives than positives. Not that he'd admit that.

"You're such a prat," she rolled her eyes with a laugh, pulling her sweater over her head.

He realized she was just about ready to leave and he looked over at the shelf again.

"Enjoy your break," she walked over to the door, looking back over her shoulder, "I'll see you when we come back."

"Hold on," the words were out of his mouth before he had decided on a course of action and she paused. As soon as he was put on the spot, standing there almost awkwardly, he lost the nerve. Giving her a present would come with too many other explanations that he just wasn't bloody ready to give. He wasn't good at this emotional stuff, "It's just — you've still got a bruise on your neck. Come here, I'll fix it quick."

"Oh," her hand went instinctively to her neck, "Yeah, good catch."

She walked over and pulled her hair back and he did a quick spell on the blue mark forming on her skin. He'd planned on leaving it there for her to find and heal later. He liked having his mark on her. But it was as good an excuse as any to call her back over.

"Thanks," she said with a crooked smile and he pulled her back to him with another long, deep kiss. They didn't usually kiss goodbye, but it wasn't so unusual that it would raise any alarms.

"Just something to keep you thinking about coming back to this," he said and she felt herself grin. Thinking about fucking Malfoy was something that was on her mind enough as it was, but one last lingering kiss would certainly keep it more prevalently at the front of her mind.

"See you in a few weeks," she said as he let her go and she walked to the door to take her leave.

Once the door was securely shut behind her he finally walked over to the shelf and grabbed the gift that was sitting there with a sigh. He'd give it to her one day. Whenever he finally told her how he felt. He stashed it under his arm and left through the door to return to the dungeons. It was going to be a long three weeks.

~.~


	3. Chapter 3

They were staring at each other, hearts still beating furiously in their chests as moments ago they had been engaged in a very steamy romp on the sink counter of the prefects bathroom on the fifth floor. Now, they were frozen in place, eyes both wide and full of shock. Hers due to disbelief of what she _thought_ she'd heard, his in disbelief that the words had slipped out of his mouth. He'd always been so good at compartmentalizing. Especially when it came to his feelings about Hermione Granger. But he'd let the words come right out without stopping them. He was still inside of her; could still feel the tightness enclosed around him, but he wasn't moving. The words _I love you_ had freed themselves from his internal thoughts and he was about to deal with the aftermath.

"Wh-what?" Hermione finally stammered out in a whisper, "What did you say?" It couldn't have been what she thought, but if it wasn't, why had he frozen like she did?

He opened his mouth and nothing came out.

"Because what I heard was —."

"I know," he snapped, finding his voice again, "I know what I said. You don't have to repeat it."

He pulled himself back from her and she closed her legs instinctively, reaching for her sweater to cover herself with.

"Fuck," he said under his breath, turning from her, anger rising in his chest at his inability to keep his thoughts in his head instead of ruining this wonderful, meaningless thing they had.

"Why did you say it?" She asked, her voice a bit demanding.

"Fuck," he said again, ignoring her questioning so he could think for a second about how to handle the situation. Should he pretend she'd heard him wrong? Seemed too late for that. Pretend it was no big deal? It already clearly was.

" _Malfoy_ ," she prompted him and he turned back, still not looking up fully.

"I didn't mean to say that," he finally got out. It was only a few weeks til graduation now, something he'd been thinking about for a while outside of their weekly meetups. He'd been toying with the idea of suggesting they spend some time together after the school year ended, but hadn't decided how to best word the invitation in a way that was casual, but deliberate.

"Do you — did you mean what you said?" There was an incredulous undertone that she didn't mean to portray, but the shock still hadn't worn off. For all she knew, Malfoy still thought of her as someone that was less than him and was purely using her for some kind of feeling of power. Or something. At least that was the only reason she'd been able to come up with so far as to why he continued their tryst.

He finally lifted his head to meet her eye, his heart hadn't stopped pounding and he tried to make a split second decision. However, at that point it almost didn't matter because he'd hesitated for too long. He gave some version of a half nod and took another step back, feeling a bit light headed.

"Was that a — did you just nod?"

He closed his eyes for a moment to realign, taking a deep breath before he opened them again, "Yes, I meant it," he said in almost a harsh voice, embarrassed, but trying to own it, "I have for a while but I didn't mean for it to come out like that. There, are you happy?"

She just stared at him, mouth opening into a bit of a gape as she processed what he was saying, "You're — in love with me?"

"Well done, good summary," he huffed, looking away again and crossing his arms over his very naked chest.

"Since _when?"_

"I _told_ you _,_ a while."

"But you don't even really know me, do you? And you certainly wouldn't ever think that I'm good enough for _you_."

" _Know_ you," he scoffed, "We've spent seven years in the same classes. Of course I do. You wear your heart on your damn sleeve. You're brilliant, even smarter than me I dare say, which is hard to do. You're well-read, you care so much about the people around you, not that I've ever been a part of that circle, but it's clear you do. You've got wittier comebacks than anyone else I've ever sparred with, and you're so bloody confident in who you are. You want to do something good in the world after Hogwarts, something in magical law or politics, which I also have a lot of interest in. Not to mention you're beautiful," although compliments, his words came out with intensity from being bottled up for years, "And _then_ you actually wanted to _sleep_ with me, even if it was just to get back at Weasley, and I had to go and learn that you're even a better fuck in reality than I ever could have imagined. So yeah, I'm in love with you and I don't deserve a second of your time."

Hermione tried to wrap her head around what he was saying, "Where have you been hiding all of these positives thoughts about me for the last 8 years that you've made my life a living hell?"

"I kept them buried deep down because I was not _supposed_ to feel this way. I was not raised to fall for someone like you so I tried to counteract what I felt by being a complete… asshole."

"Yes you certainly did that," she shook her head a few times, "Look Malfoy, I am just caught totally off guard here. What do you want me to take from this?"

He groaned, he hadn't planned it to go like this at all but he couldn't keep being stubborn about it. He tried to soften his voice but it still came out tense, "I know you can't feel the same because the Draco you know hasn't given you any reason to. But if you just… give me the chance to take down my walls," he felt like an idiot even saying the words. He hated being vulnerable, hated acknowledging his feelings, but he fought through it because this was probably the only chance he'd ever get, "Give yourself a chance to get to know me outside of everything else that's happened, maybe you could see the potential that I do. We both already know the passion's there."

Hermione nodded slowly, "But what about your family? What would they say if you dated someone like me?"

Draco felt a momentary uplift at the prospect of her even considering that could happen, although she was probably just trying to think logically about all of the outcomes, "I don't care, Granger," he said simply, rolling with it now that it was out in the open, "My father is in Azkaban and my mother I can deal with."

"And your friends?"

"Can also learn to deal with it," he gave a short laugh, "If you give this a chance, I won't let someone else fuck it up. I might do that on my own," he allowed, "But I wouldn't let someone else get in the way of finally having a shot with you."

She sat there in silence, still looking at a loss for words.

"And how do you feel about me?" He asked with whatever dignity he could muster, "Now that my feelings are out on the table."

She thought for a moment about what she felt with him, "I mean, I enjoy what we have going on," she said rationally, "I look forward to it every week and I'd feel like something was missing if it ended, though I always assumed it would eventually," she pulled her sweater over her head and he grabbed his boxers from the floor to slip them on as he looked around to locate the rest of his clothes, realizing they likely wouldn't be finishing what they had started that evening, "You make me feel good when we're together like this... feminine and _wanted_ in a way that I haven't before. I certainly feel a lot of passion with you. But honestly Malfoy, I _don't_ know who you are. I don't know what you want in life. I don't know what's important to you."

"Are you willing to learn those things about me? Is there even a chance this could ever go somewhere in your mind?" He pulled his sweater on.

"I… don't know," she said honestly, as she stepped off of the counter and across the room to her skirt, where they'd started their activities that evening, "I truly just never thought it would even be a discussion."

"Well how about you think about it and let me know when you're ready to have this discussion," he was keen to end the conversation so he could return to his room and analyze what just happened on this own.

She nodded, hands running through her hair absently, "Alright."

"Great," he buttoned his pants and walked towards the door, "I look forward to hearing from you." With that, he pulled the door open and took a hasty exit, trying to seem as though he was regaining some form of his composure. He passed by a group of first years who were playing exploding snaps in the Entrance Hall, their laughs muffled in his brain as all of his other thoughts started flowing in.

He was almost in denial that it had just happened, though he knew it had. He certainly hadn't handled it well. He felt numb, but what was he supposed to do, there was no way he could have been prepared for it to come out like that. He'd spent eight months keeping his feelings locked tightly away during their evenings together. Eight months staring into her eyes thinking those words without them breaking free. Eight months keeping up the facade of indifference and arrogance towards her. Eight months pretending their time together was nothing more than a convenient arrangement.

" _Draco_."

Draco blinked a few times as the voice broke through his thoughts, "Evening, Blaise," he tried to be nonchalant.

"What's up with you, mate?" Blaise looked at him with amusement, "I just called your name like five times."

"Just preoccupied at the moment."

"Alright, whatever, don't tell me then. Pansy's hosting a bit of a party tonight in the Room of Requirement, are you going?"

The idea of wasting his time on something so trivial when everything he had wanted for so long was dangling by a string in front of him was almost annoying to even consider, "No, I'm not going."

"She'll be sad to hear that," Blaise clapped him on the shoulder, "Pretty sure she's only throwing it to get your attention. There's only a few weeks left in term and I think she's pulling out all the stops."

"Well my attention is elsewhere," he replied and Blaise grinned at him.

"Were you with Granger tonight?"

Draco just nodded, not wanting to get into it.

"Well you'll have to make up your own excuse for Pansy, I'm not covering for you this time. She's oblivious to the fact that you're seeing someone else."

"Well that _is_ the point of keeping it a secret," Draco said in a huff.

"You're a drag tonight, you know," Blaise drawled as they reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room, "If you like the girl so much just tell her and cut the charade."

Draco stared at him a second in annoyance before responding, "I did tell her."

The pompous look all but fell off of Blaise's face, "Oh. I'm guessing she didn't..."

"It came out accidentally," Draco said quietly, "I'd just like to be alone for a while."

Blaise nodded and Draco walked into the common room, passing by some of their other friends who were sitting on the couches without a word.

~.~.~

Hermione pulled the hangings around her bed closed as she lay back and stared at the canopy overhead. _Draco Malfoy was in love with her_. The words sounded insane. He'd never so much as said a nice sentence to her with the obvious exception of the all the things he'd said that evening. She tried to think back and remember any inklings she'd ever had that there might be more than met the eye with their encounters, but it was all so skewed by what she thought she knew.

She put that to the side and tried to think back to that evening in the Hogs Head when he'd first confronted her because it was the longest conversation they'd probably ever had. Unfortunately, she had also been decently inebriated for their interaction as well, so the details were foggy at best. She closed her eyes tightly, pulling from deep in her memories at whatever she could. At least the first part of their conversation she hadn't been quite as drunk.

He'd seemed surprised to see her there, especially to see her there _alone_ and hadn't wasted time taking the seat next to her at the bar and ordering himself a firewhiskey; which certainly was not _his_ first of the night either. There were only a few other patrons spread haphazardly around the bar so they'd had the privilege of a private conversation at least. She remembered he had snidely asked where 'Weasley' was because she'd laughed shrilly and spilled her drink as he said the name. She'd told him exactly what she'd found Ron doing as the bartender refilled her glass and Draco had looked shocked, but she'd noticed his demeanor changed after that from snide to indignant to almost scornful towards Ron. Not that he didn't deserve it. She remembered rambling about how much it hurt and how Ron could shove something right where he'd feel it and Draco had let her ramble until she'd realized she had been.

She remembered that whatever conversation happened after that had been long as their drinks began to add up. She could picture snippets of intense words from the blonde haired boy about the war, though she couldn't remember how it came up or what he had said, just that she'd been focused on paying attention in the moment. She remembered feeling embarrassed about responding with her own personal stories from that time and expecting him to make fun of her, though she distinctly remembered he hadn't.

She remembered a bit more clearly the later part of the evening because it had sparked a bit of shock when he'd turned their conversation in another direction. She could almost still hear Draco whispering in her ear about how Ron would feel about his own cock being the first one inside of her instead of Ron's and how sometimes anger translated seamlessly to passion if she wanted to try and relieve herself of some of those pesky emotions. He'd ran his hand up her leg and told her Ron would realize what he was missing out on one day but it wasn't worth her time to dwell on him. Better to get revenge by moving on. Perhaps with his sworn enemy. Something to really hit him where it hurts.

He'd been smooth and persuasive and she remembered blushing, but also how a small part of her resonated with the idea of having revenge sex with Malfoy to get back at Ron. She'd been angry and it had been a thrilling idea she'd never considered because it wasn't in her nature to want to hurt someone else. But the war had changed her perspective on some things in life and she'd realized she didn't have to be perfect or good all the time. She was allowed to be human. She was allowed to make decisions for herself no matter what the motive or consequences. If it was a mistake, who gave a _shit_. Everyone was self serving at the root of it.

She'd never slept with anyone before, always assuming Ron would be her first, but the thought that it could be Malfoy had made her feel some very unexpected things deep down within. It was a feeling akin to guilt and intrigue and excitement. He was attractive, of course, she'd never deny him that, but there was something between them she'd always associated with hate that she was finding a way to spin in her mind as passion as he sat there next to her, their bodies closer than they'd ever been before. She'd been the one to suggest they leave the bar together and get to it, but he'd told her it would have to wait until she made that decision sober. He'd kissed her right there, his lips brushing hers in the most tantalizingly unfair way, and then he'd gotten up and left. She remembered the beating of her heart in her chest and waking up the next morning trying to decide if it had been real. She'd spent a good part of the next week trying to convince herself not to do it, but her curiosity in Malfoy's interest, mixed with the constant visions of Ron and Millicent together that met her every time her eyes closed had solidified her decision. She'd sent Draco an owl the following weekend to 'discuss their previous conversation' and the rest was history.

She wished she could remember the details in between; what they had talked about for hours at that bar, but she couldn't unfog it in her memory.

Her thoughts turned to their time together over the last eight months. There were certainly times that he was affectionate. He certainly cared that she always left happy. Maybe the reason there was so much passion behind his kiss was because there were real feelings in them. But could she ever see past all of the things he had said and done in the past? Was there really more to him than the arrogant jerk, the literal _Death Eater_ she'd known for eight years? Was it really all a defensive front he put up?

She couldn't deny her pleasure in the time they spent together. And now that she thought about it, there had been a few times he'd tried to talk to her about something other than their next meeting as they put themselves back together afterwards, conversation about classes and current political news that likely would have piqued her interest if she didn't assume he wanted nothing to do with her and was simply filling the void of awkward silence. There was that one time he'd pulled her into a classroom after Potions just to snog and ask if she'd be at Hogwarts over break. She hadn't thought any more of it then because she just assumed he didn't want to go three weeks without getting some, but maybe he'd wanted a reason to spend time together.

She thought about the way he kissed her each time before he would pull out of her. He'd always cup her cheek and press his lips to hers in a different way than he did while they were having sex. During, it was always hungry and wanting, possessive even. After, it was almost sweet and tender. Though she just figured that was just something he did no matter who he was with. But maybe it wasn't. Maybe that was his way of telling her something without saying the words.

She sighed heavily, closing her eyes. She just needed some distance from him. She needed to have a Draco-free couple of weeks to decide if she missed him and what it was she missed. She needed to think about what it would mean for her to really give him a chance and how that would even work.

~.~.~

They were days from graduating and Draco hadn't heard from her at all. He thought maybe she'd send an owl the next week, but it never came. Nor did it come the week after that… or after that. And now it was Wednesday, N.E.W.T.s were over, celebrations were beginning, and the unsettling feeling that she'd decided her life was easier without him was creeping in.

He was sitting in the Slytherin common room, students talking excitedly around him as he stared into the fire, a half-full glass of firewhiskey gripped between his fingers. He couldn't stop thinking about their conversation in the Hogs Head. They'd talked for hours about the war. He'd told her his allegiance to the Dark Lord had waivered the moment he'd come face to face with Dumbledore and realized the impact of what he was supposed to do. He told her he knew right then he didn't have it in him and that he didn't want any part of the Death Eaters, but it was simply too late to turn back. He told her about Lucius cracking day by day under the pressures of the Dark Lord and the fall of his family from grace. He told her how hopeless he'd felt seeing them turn up at Malfoy Manor, knowing they'd all be dead if he tried to oppose his aunt. He'd told her he hoped the Order would win in the end and that he hadn't wanted to leave their side during the Battle of Hogwarts. He'd only wanted his wand back from Potter.

She'd told him about obliviating her parents to erase her from their lives; about sending them away to Australia never to be found. She'd told him she knew he didn't want to leave their side, they all knew it. She'd forgiven him, right there at the bar, for his part in it. She'd looked him in the eye and told him she didn't think he was evil; just a prat. _Fair_.

They'd talked for hours about the war and their families and what they wanted to do now that it was all over. She'd told him she felt a coldness within herself when the final battle ended that she was still coping with and he had told her he'd felt something like that his whole life.

He doubted she remembered most of it, she'd been drinking quite heavily before he even arrived. He had been as well, but he held it much better than she did. The way she'd proclaimed she was done with Weasley and the way she had laughed at something he had said had given him hope that perhaps she'd consider another option. And by the end of the evening, the alcohol in his system had given him the courage he had needed to, smoothly, give her a few other suggestions as to how to get back at him. She'd been shocked and actually a bit outraged at first, and then as the suggestion had settled in and she realized he was serious, she had warmed up to the idea rather quickly. He knew he couldn't have her when she'd been drinking, however. He'd wanted her for too long to let it be a drunken mistake she could shrug off. He wanted her to come to him. Sober and willing. And she had.

Pansy dropped down into his lap, pulling him from his thoughts and he sighed, looking up into the girls gleaming blue eyes, her black hair falling heavily down her back.

"Having a party by yourself over here?" She asked in a quiet voice, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"No, Pansy," he said, annoyed, "Just enjoying a nice glass of firewhisky." He unwrapped her arms and gestured for her to move onto the open seat next to him, as opposed to on his lap and she rolled her eyes, but obliged, not wanting to bring attention to his dismissal.

"Well you looked like you could use some company, either way. You've been distant the last few weeks, Draco."

They used to be equals, he and Pansy, but she'd fallen for him some time ago and was now incapable of taking the hint that he wasn't interested. He tried to be nice about it, she'd been his friend for a long time, but he'd certainly grown tired of the act, "I've got my mind on bigger things than life at Hogwarts," he took a sip of his drink before standing from the couch and leaving the common room for his dormitory, Pansy staring distraughtly after him. When he arrived, he saw his owl at the window. He set his drink on the bedside table, walking briskly over and taking the parchment from the owl, closing the window in a rush and sitting down on his bed, the owl pecking rather angrily on the glass. His heart was beating fast. It could be a rejection. Maybe she didn't even want to see him to talk. He groaned at the scenario his own mind had made up before he unrolled it, reading the words.

_Draco,_

_Meet me tonight at 9pm in the restricted section of the library._

_HG_

He set the parchment down next to him and lay back on his bed. Tonight, he would get his answer.

~.~.~


	4. Chapter 4

As the school year was over, Madam Pince was officially on summer holiday; off on her adventures to find new books to adorn the shelves with, so a simple Alohamora had gotten Draco into the deserted library later that evening and he'd slipped into the restricted section to wait as the potential conversations played in his head. He'd purposefully arrived early as to position himself in a way that he hoped would come off as nonchalant; quite the contrary to his already pounding heart.

What seemed like an eternity later, he could finally hear footsteps walking across the room towards the restricted section entrance and he took a deep breath as the door opened, and Hermione walked in. Their eyes locked immediately and he pushed himself off the table he'd been leaning on.

"Evening, Granger," he said evenly, keeping his emotions turned off until he knew how their conversation was going to go.

"Evening, Malfoy," she replied in a bit of a breathy voice. She seemed nervous, although that could go either way for him, and she was still standing a good foot or two away.

"I assume you've come to a decision about how you'd like to go forward," he said too formally.

"I have," She nodded and he noticed her swallow a bit hard before she finally took another step towards him and let her hands find his waist, "I need you to kiss me again."

His lip pulled up as he felt the tension he'd been holding slowly release. This was certainly a request he could comply with. One of his hands slid to the small of her back, pulling her fully against him while the other moved to her neck. Without another moment of hesitation, he leaned down and captured her lips with his. He tried to be gentle about it. This was the woman he'd been in love with for years, who finally knew how he felt, and he had to show her that. But it had been weeks now since he'd felt the electricity her lips sparked against his and it was likely coming off more hungry than he meant it to. Her lips parted for his tongue to meet hers softly. He could tell she wanted to feel what he did; She wanted to know he meant what he'd said weeks ago, and she needed to feel that it was real; That there was more to him than what she'd seen in the past.

For that reason, he willed himself to linger as their lips pressed against each other once more. He let his breath out slowly through his nose, trying to level his heart rate and give the moment everything he could. His thumb brushed down her cheek and he kissed her softly again as her bottom lip caught between his. He could stand here forever taking in the way her skin felt under his touch and how everything else in the world seemed to fade to black as their breath became the only white noise in the room. He felt her pulling back from him and he opened his eyes to see her face flushed and her eyes slightly lidded from their interaction.

"Nothing this year has made me feel as alive as you have," she whispered, "No matter how many arguments I've got about everything in the past, or how many questions about who you are underneath it all, or how this could really work. At the end of the day, you're the only thing in my life that makes me feel excited for something again. And to ignore that would be nonsensical."

"So are you saying you're interested in me, Granger?" He asked as a smirk crept onto his features.

"Don't ruin this, Malfoy," she said flatly, "If you want me to give this a shot, you should probably start letting down those walls you've got built around yourself."

He sighed heavily and feigned annoyance, "Can't you just let me enjoy this brief moment of feeling like I've won before I have to start playing nice."

She raised her eyebrows with the hint of a smile on her face, "You've got about one minute to gloat and then I'd like to meet the person that you tell me is in there."

He pulled her in again with a grin and captured her lips passionately. Her hands slid up his chest as his fingers tangled into her hair. It was a possessive kiss, but he didn't care, this was his celebration of everything he'd waited for. He knew he still had to prove himself and win her over, but right now, for the hundredth time, and for the first time, she was his. And he would do everything in his power to make that last.

When they finally broke apart a few minutes later Hermione saw what she thought may be the first genuine smile — not smirk, not grin — that she'd ever seen on the boy's features. He looked happy. She'd never thought of Malfoy as a happy person before, but that was the best way to describe the look in his eyes as he gazed back at her.

"So what now," she asked quietly.

"Well, first thing's first, will you be my girlfriend, Granger?"

She looked at him like he was a little crazy but also like she was a little impressed, "Girlfriend? You want to jump to that already?"

"Already?" He replied incredulously, "We've been sleeping together for nine months; May as well be my girlfriend if we're going to start spending quality time together."

She paused, cocking her head to the side with a chuckle, thinking, "Yes, I mean, you're right. I guess that actually does make sense. Alright, I'll be your girlfriend, Malfoy. Think of it as a trial-girlfriend."

"No Granger, I don't want you to look at it like a trial; like half a decision," he shook his head seriously, knowing she was probably trying to make a joke, but needing to make sure she saw his perspective, "You and me? This isn't going to be easy. There's a lot to learn about each other and it's going to take work and effort to meld our worlds and give this a real shot. Not to mention what we're going to have to weather from the outside world. I don't think we can call it a trial because I don't want you one foot out the door. I understand there's a chance this doesn't work out in the end, but I need to know you're going to give it your effort after waiting this long for my shot. So you're either in this with me or you're out."

She considered him in a way she never had before. He wasn't wrong. They were jumping into something that seemed impossible. Dating after barely having a civil conversation. Dating after being enemies for years; after fighting for opposing sides in the war. Dating against his family's beliefs. It was going to take work to even let it have its fair shot on both sides. She would hear it from her friends, of course; dating an ex-Death Eater. But he was also standing up against his family and their blood status biases to be with her; against everything he was raised to believe. He must really have strong feelings for her to want to push through the hard conversations ahead. If it didn't work in the end, then it didn't work, but it wouldn't be fair to him to go in halfway, "I'm in," she said confidently.

He watched as her lip curled up as she said it and he couldn't help but mirror her, "Well, good then."

"But I think if you want this to have its shot, we should… take things slow… physically," she said unsurely. She didn't want to take things slow, but this was brand new territory for them now.

He sighed, "Yes, I'm guessing we can't go straight back to me fucking you all over the castle, so I begrudgingly agree. For now I think I'll have to start with taking you on a date and introducing you to the other side of me."

Hermione rolled her eyes at his crudeness, "I don't _really_ want to," she admitted, "It's just something I think we should put on pause until we're on the same page."

"I know that'll be very difficult for you," he said in a sultry voice, trying to dispel the awkwardness of acknowledging his feelings versus her lack of feelings, "But I don't think it'll take long for you to fall for me."

"Don't get cocky too soon," she warned him in a teasing tone, "You've got eight years of being an absolute git to make up for."

"Then how about we start with dinner after graduation on Sunday."

"Somewhere… public?" She asked, "How do you and I date without all of the outside influences getting involved."

Draco shrugged, "Let them. I don't care who sees you with me. If you don't care, that is. Weather the storm together."

"I've come to the realization that I don't care either," she said thoughtfully, "There aren't many opinions that matter to me these days."

"Then Sunday I'll take you out and we can… reacquaint."

"So that will be our out to the wizarding world?" She quipped.

"Unless I think of something more fun," he pulled her in to kiss her again before she could question his comment, this was by far the most relaxed and content he'd felt in a very long time, which made it that much easier to try to lower his arrogant defenses and be there in the moment with the one girl he would have done anything to be there with. He pulled back from her again as he remembered what else he'd brought with him, just in case, "By the way, I have something for you."

She tilted her head at him curiously, "What's that?"

He reached behind him on the table and grabbed the Christmas gift he'd bought her, still wrapped but a little worn from being stuffed at the bottom of his trunk, and handed it to her, "I wanted to give this to you for Christmas but I couldn't think of a way to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. I knew I'd have to tell you how I felt and I wasn't ready to. I don't think I ever would have been ready to if it hadn't come out how it did."

She looked down at it and then back up at him, "I do wish you'd told me then, maybe we could have gotten to this part a lot earlier."

"I'm a bit proud sometimes, Granger and I don't like the possibility of being rejected. This is all very against my nature; Feelings, emotions, communication," he gave a dark laugh, "Like I've told you, I wasn't supposed to fall for you and every time I wanted to tell you, I lost the nerve thinking about what you'd say. After everything you've been through because of me why would you want this. It was just easier to let it go on like it was instead of chancing losing what we did have."

"We did have a good thing going," she said wryly before looking back at the gift in her hands.

"Go ahead, it's nothing over the top. I tried to pick something that wouldn't scream my feelings for you at the time."

She pulled the wrapping paper carefully off, revealing a crisp new book that read _Molding the Ministry_. She flipped it to the back and read the description aloud, " _A deep dive into the founding of the Ministry of Magic and its transformation over time to adapt to societal norms, unveil corruption, and rebuild from within._ This sounds really interesting," she said sincerely, flipping it open to the index.

"It details the transition of the Ministry since its inception," Draco said, trying not to let himself speak too fast, but he was still nervous it wasn't anything impressive, "The addition of new departments as they were needed over time and how they all work cooperatively. I thought you'd find that helpful in breaking down some of the different career opportunities. I also thought it was unique because it doesn't shy away from the not so glamorous years at the Ministry. It goes into where the holes in the structure were that exposed it to corruption. It's actually the first book to come out detailing a post-war look at the Ministry and how they've been working on closing the gaps that let it all fall apart before. It's on an interesting cusp of being educational and introspective."

"I don't think I've read anything like this," she smiled, "Usually you either get a text book or an expose. Not often you find something that gives you the full story without glossing over things that are outside of their narrative."

"Well this book is a bit unique in another way as well," he flipped it to the front page where it told a bit about the publishing, "This is the first printed copy. A limited number of copies were printed in the fall for a small group of editors and it's set for release next year after that process is completed. It was written by an old family friend so I was one of the first that got to read through it. So you will also be one of the first. The editing team thinks it's going to be one of the most talked about pieces of the century. It's not every day a government admits they're not perfect."

"This was very thoughtful," she said, trying to hide her surprise. If nothing else, this was a sign that there was more than met the eye with him; that their connection could be deeper than base level.

"I know it's nothing really special," he cleared his throat a bit unsurely, second guessing his choice. It wasn't anything extravagant or expensive. Maybe a book had been a boring idea, "But you were the first person I thought of when I had it in my hands. Especially after you'd mentioned you were interested in a position at the Ministry but that you didn't know which was the best fit."

"No, Malfoy, I love it," she grinned, "I get to read a book no one else has yet. This is amazing. But I do have to ask… when did I mention that I wanted to work at the Ministry? I don't remember ever having that conversation."

His confidence lifted at her response and he almost laughed at her question, "At the Hogs Head. The first night we… spoke. Do you not remember our conversation at all that night?"

She felt her cheeks getting warm, "I, ah, no, honestly I don't remember much from the middle part of that night. I remember you sitting down and the first part. I remember the later part where you propositioned me and then left me wanting more at the bar. But the middle part I can't remember. I tried to but it's like I'm watching it on double speed with no sound in my head. I remember we talked for a long time and I can picture being there with you… but that's about it."

He raised his eyebrows at her in shock, "Well…" he started, trying to figure out how to summarize it, "Well we talked about a lot of things. One of which was post-Hogwarts plans. But I guess I'll have to fill you in on the rest again another time."

She looked at him apologetically, "We had a good conversation, didn't we?"

"It was more open than I've been with anyone in my whole life, I think," he shook his head, "But I'd had a few drinks and it was the first time I'd found a way to have a real conversation with you so I think I just let it all out. The war, my family, _your_ family, the real world. I guess we'll have plenty to talk about on our date."

"I'll try not to drink as much this time so we don't have to go through this whole conversation for a third time," she joked.

"Good plan, I have a limited capacity for elaborating on emotions."

She leaned up towards him, brushing her lips against his, "I think you're doing a decent job at it tonight."

He grinned against her, "But now you're making me want to explore some very different feelings. Darker ones."

She felt goosebumps pop up down her arms and she grinned back, "That sounds so very appealing."

They'd stayed there a bit longer kissing, hands roaming, with the occasional quip about how scandalous their relationship would be to outsiders; about how difficult it was to keep things from going further on the table in the restricted section; about the hurdles they would likely have to jump moving on from their past. And then with all of his strength, Draco had pulled away, his hand running down her arm until he reached her hand. He took it in his, looking down as he brought it to his lips.

"You should go back to Gryffindor Tower before what you really want overpowers your impressive restraint," he whispered as he kissed her hand.

"You think it's that difficult for me to avoid the temptation, Malfoy?" She asked coyly.

"Without question," he kissed her hand again and she laughed, moving her lips to his ear.

"You're not wrong," she said, feeling herself flush at the words but enjoying the feeling of flirting with him in a way that felt different than before.

He grinned wickedly at her as she moved back, her hand pulling loosely from his.

"Goodnight, Malfoy."

"Goodnight, Granger," he watched her leave the room and knew it would be a very long time before the smile left his face that evening. He already knew exactly how they'd out their relationship. And he was looking forward to it very much.

Hermione sat somewhere in the middle of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall chatting cordially with Neville over breakfast the next morning as the students around her started to quiet and whisper to each other. She glanced up as the voices hushed and noticed Parvati, who was sitting diagonally from her was looking past her over her shoulder.

"Granger," she heard his voice cut smoothly through the air.

She sat up a little straighter and turned in her seat. She hadn't expected him to make it public quite so soon. But she didn't hate that Ron was currently gaping from down the table.

"Malfoy," she responded as her lip started to curl up on one side.

He held his hand out for her and she only hesitated briefly before she took it to stand. Without warning, he pulled her to him and kissed her soundly as the entirety of the Great Hall looked on. The moment was brief, but she was hyper aware of everything that happened within it. Her body tensed and then quickly relaxed into him as everything else faded away just like it always did when he was close. She could hear the volume increasing from the voices around her, but she didn't care to pay them any attention. _Let them stare,_ she thought. And then he pulled back from her again and they shared a grin, hers scolding and his mischievous, before he let her go, his hand dropping to interlace their fingers.

"It looked like a nice morning for a walk by the lake," he said casually as they walked toward the doors as if all was normal. The whispers and voices around them were easier to make out now. There were gasps and snippets of disbelief. There was the unmistakable shriek that came from Pansy Parkinson's seat at the Slytherin table. There was a grumble from Ron as she passed that sounded something like " _See, she's gone completely mental_." But she was quite pleased to find that she couldn't fucking care less. Malfoy made her feel things that she'd been missing from her life the last year and she was perfectly content with her decision to see what happened from here.

Once they were outside the main doors she looked over at him, "I think people might know we're together now."

"I figured it would be easiest to kill all of the birds with one stone," he said matter of factly, "Besides," he paused, pulling her to him again, his breath warm and taunting on her lips, "You're mine now and the whole world should fucking know that."

~.~.~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally a one-shot that turned into a four-shot and has the potential to maybe be more one day! For now, this is where I'm leaving it :) Hope you enjoyed, I'd love to hear your thoughts if you've got a few minutes!!


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